18 month old tantrum tips for moms

Tantrums at 18 Months: You're Not Alone, Mama

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You're in the grocery store, trying to quickly grab a few essentials before the baby wakes up from her nap in the car. Your 18-month-old is sitting in the shopping cart, looking adorable in her cute little outfit. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she spots a box of cookies on the shelf and starts demanding, "COOKIES! COOKIES!" in the loudest, most ear-piercing voice possible. You try to calmly explain that we don't buy cookies every time we're at the store, but she's having none of it. The next thing you know, she's lying down in the shopping cart, kicking her legs, and screaming at the top of her lungs. You're at your breaking point, feeling like all eyes are on you, and you just want to escape the embarrassment and get home as quickly as possible.

This scenario is all too familiar for many of us moms. It's like, one minute our little one is happy and playing, and the next, they're completely melting down. But here's the thing: tantrums are a normal part of child development, especially during the 18-month mark. At this age, children are learning to assert their independence, testing boundaries, and trying to communicate their needs. They're also still learning to regulate their emotions, which can lead to those epic meltdowns we've all experienced.

Understanding the Why Behind the Tantrum

The Science of Tantrums

Research shows that tantrums are often a result of a combination of factors, including overtiredness, hunger, frustration, and the desire for autonomy. When our little ones are unable to express their needs or wants, they can become overwhelmed, leading to a full-blown tantrum. It's not that they're being "bad" or "naughty"; they're simply struggling to cope with their emotions and communicate effectively.

Strategies for Calming the Storm

Stay Calm and Validate Their Feelings

When your child is in the midst of a tantrum, it's essential to remain calm and composed. This can be tough, but it's crucial in helping your little one regulate their emotions. Acknowledge their feelings, and let them know that you understand they're upset. You can say something like, "You're really upset right now, aren't you? It can be frustrating when we can't have what we want." By validating their emotions, you're helping them feel heard and understood, which can often diffuse the situation.

Offer Choices and Empower Their Decision-Making

Providing choices can be a great way to give your child a sense of control and autonomy, which can help reduce tantrums. For example, you could say, "Do you want to put your toys away now or after we finish dinner?" This simple choice can help your child feel more in control and invested in the decision-making process. Just be sure to set clear boundaries and limits, so they know what's expected of them.

Preventing Tantrums Before They Start

Watch for Triggers and Take Preventative Measures

Pay attention to the times when your child tends to have tantrums. Is it when they're tired or hungry? Are there certain situations or environments that trigger meltdowns? Once you're aware of these triggers, you can take steps to prevent tantrums before they start. For example, if your child tends to get overwhelmed in crowded spaces, try to avoid taking them to busy stores or restaurants during peak hours. Or, if they get hangry, be sure to pack healthy snacks and schedule regular meal times.

Encourage Communication and Label Their Emotions

Help your child develop their communication skills by labeling their emotions and encouraging them to express their needs and wants. You can say something like, "You seem really upset right now. Can you tell me what's wrong?" or "I can see that you're feeling frustrated. Let's find a way to solve this problem together." By teaching your child to identify and express their emotions, you're helping them develop essential skills for managing their feelings and reducing tantrums.

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